I remember nights when security was my blanket and your love was the bed I laid in and I had you.
Now my nights are cold and bare and I am shivering from the emptiness you left me in and god,
it is even painful to fall asleep.
I remember 4am’s when the world was baked in grey, slow and lazy and my eyes opened to the sight of you, wonderfully mine and beautiful.
Now my dawns are a blast of frigid air and I am left freezing as I realize you are no longer there and will never be anymore and god,
it is even painful to wake up.
I remember mornings when we shared coffee on my porch, unhurried and languid as we shared secret smiles and burning looks.
Now my breakfast means sitting on the counter, forcing myself to take a bite as I try to get rid of the acrid taste of losing you from my tongue and dammit,
it is even painful to breathe.
I remember coming home at 5pm’s and seeing your shoes in the hallway, my fingers lightly touching your coat on the hanger, happy you’re there.
Now I usually just stand outside the door for some time, afraid to face the fact that not only my house is empty but my life is as well and baby
I fucking miss you so.
I remember every little thing and it’s a blessing and a curse because it is proof that I was once happy and now everything is gone and god,
it is so damn painful to live."
She Said, She Said: Chapter I || Sade Andria Zabala & Genefe Navilon
Part 2 (surfandwrite), Part 1 (letters-to-the-sea)
She Said, She Said is an on-going writing collaboration between me and my best friend, Sade (surfandwrite). I will be writing one part, I will be writing the other. I will focus on fragility, she on strength.
Please click on the Part 2 link to read her version in order to fully appreciate this piece.